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    #51
    Despite collaborating on the script to TLW, David Koepp and Michael Crichton never met in person or spoke on the phone.
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    Invisible Killer [Treatment]
    By Aragorn

    My dad used to tell me this one ghost story everytime we went camping and I wrote a story loosly based off of it. It was one of the first stories I ever wrote and recently I've been writing treatments for all my older stories and seeing as how this was one of the first I wrote, I decided to post this one first.

    ***

    Chapter 1

    It opens up with a father, Henry, and his 13-year-old son, Jack, driving down a road during a hot summer day. As they drive down the road, Henry keeps trying to talk to his son, but Jack just wants to be left alone in his own little world as he stares out the window. During this scene it is revealed that Jack’s mother/Henry’s wife died recently in a car accident. It is also revealed that they are on their way to a camp for a father-son vacation, which Jack is not the least bit interested in.
    Henry, realizing he’s not getting much conversation out of his son, turns on the radio as he continues driving.

    As the car continues down the road, they pass a sign that tells them to turn off at the next turn off on their left to go to Camp Blue Moon. The car turns down the dirt road.

    They arrive at the parking lot and Henry marvels at all the cabins in the area. Jack shrugs, not really caring. Henry tells his son to stay with the car as he goes to the Main Cabin and walks in.
    He goes into the office and meets with the owner of the grounds, Robert. Robert gets Henry to fill out all the paperwork and hands him a set of keys for one of the cabins and offers to show him where it is. Henry gives him some money for their stay.
    Robert and Henry go back to the car where Robert meets Jack. Jack just gives him a dirty look. Henry and Jack grab the bags and luggage and follow Robert down a path that leads through the woods. As they walk, Robert tells them about the different facilities and programs they have.
    They reach the cabin and Robert shows them around the inside. Jack complains that there’s no bathroom and Robert explains that the only bathrooms they have on the grounds are a bunch of Outhouses scattered around the area. Jack gets a disgusted look on his face.


    Chapter 2

    Some time has passed and Henry and Jack have gotten everything unpacked and set up in the cabin. Henry talks Jack into going for a walk down to the Lake and so they leave and follow the trail and signs. Along their way, they passed by a Couple jogging together.
    Henry states that he can’t wait to get to the lake and go for a dip. Jack admits that he can’t either. He can’t wait to get into the cool water because the heat is killing him.
    The trail exits onto the beach. The beach is occupied with dozens of people, and the Lake is filled with even more, with some speed boats and row boats even further out.
    Henry races his son to the lake and beats him, jumping into the water. Jack had stopped mid-run however, because his eyes fell upon an attractive girl his age, laying on the sand, reading a book.
    Jack walks by her and pretends to trip, falling near her. She looks over and asks if he’s alright. He says he is and introduces himself. The girl introduces herself as well, revealing that her name is Cindy and that the lifeguard is her older brother, Aaron.

    Henry realizes that Jack isn’t in the water and scans the beach. He spots him talking to Cindy and smiles. Screaming interrupts his thoughts and he turns around, swimming on the spot.
    He sees a girl freaking out and trying to swim franticly towards shore. Suddenly she gets pulled under the water and doesn’t resurface.
    Aaron jumps from his life guard chair and runs and jumps in the water, swimming to the girl’s location, yelling for everyone to get out of the water. People start rushing towards the shore.
    The people in the boats see and hear the commotion and also start to return to shore. One boat is flung up into the air and lands upside down. An unseen force crushes the boat in one blow and the people that had been in it is no where in sight.
    Aaron dives under the water and finds the body to the girl that was pulled under. The body has four deep gashes running across the chest. Aaron surfaces and starts swimming back to shore, thinking to himself what could have done that to the girl.
    Aaron climbs out of the water and orders everyone to leave the beach because it’s going to be shut down until they can find out what is in the water. The people start packing up their things and leaving the beach.
    Henry meets up with Jack and Cindy and Jack says he’ll meet him back at the cabin. He wants to hang out with Cindy for a bit. Henry goes on ahead and Cindy stops Jack. She tells him that she knows of another trail that no one else knows about as far as she knows. She discovered it one day while aimlessly exploring. Jack agrees to go with her.
    As they walk down the beach, they talk about what could have been in the water, since it’s a closed lake and isn’t connected to the ocean or anything. They reach what seems to Jack as a random spot and Cindy pushes through the foliage, Jack close behind. They come out onto an old trail, long overgrown with weeds and grass and plants.
    They walk down the trail and suddenly Cindy screams. Jack looks at where Cindy is looking and sees a figure wearing a cloak with a hood over his head, standing off into the woods, looking at them. The figure tells them in a raspy voice to go no further and to leave the camp grounds, or they will die.
    Cindy yells at him to go away and he slowly starts stepping backwards, one step at a time, until he seems to disappear. Jack notices that Cindy is shaking. They walk quickly through the woods and Jack tries to convince Cindy that it was just some guy playing a prank, although he himself, is not so sure.
    They get to the end of the trail and Jack walks Cindy back to her cabin before going back to his.


    Chapter 3

    Henry and Jack are sitting at the kitchen table, having lunch. Jack tells his father about the guy that they saw in the woods and Henry agrees with Jack that it was probably just some guy playing a prank.
    Jack asks his father if he finds it weird that three people die and then shortly after, something like that happens. Henry states that the people were probably killed by some kind of animal, but if it’ll make him feel better, then they’ll go talk to Robert after lunch.

    Henry and Jack are in the Main Cabin, in the office, talking to Robert. Aaron is also there. After hearing what happened to Jack and Cindy, Aaron and Robert exchange glances and Robert states that the guy in the woods may not have been just a simple prankster, but they can’t do anything unless something else happens.

    That night, Jack is woken up by a barking dog. He goes outside and tries to quietly shoo the dog away, however it doesn’t budge. Jack picks up a rock and throws it near the dog, causing it to turn and run off into the woods.
    Jack turns to go back inside, but a cold breeze comes up and he stops on the spot, shivering. He gets a strange feeling and turns around. He sees the figure dressed as grim reaper standing at the edge of the forest where the dog ran off into. The figure does nothing but stand there.
    Jack gives him the finger and then turns and runs inside the cabin, locking the door. He looks out the window, but the figure is gone.

    The next morning, Henry and Jack are woken up to someone knocking on their door. Henry answers it and Robert is standing there. He tells Henry that they are evacuating the camp and shutting the area down for the time being because two other people were killed during the night, in their cabins. Jack notices a look in Robert’s eyes as he tells them and he asks who were killed. Turns out it was Aaron and Cindy. Jack is devastated by the news and tells them that he saw the figure again last night. Robert tells them to pack up and leave as soon as they can, and then leaves to go to the next cabin and tell them the same thing.
    Henry asks his son if he wants to talk about what happened, but Jack, sad over Cindy’s death, just storms off to pack.

    Later on, Jack and Henry are at their car, all packed up and ready to go. Jack has tears running down his face. Most of the other guests have already left. Henry goes to start the car, but it won’t start. He keeps trying, but always gets the same results.
    Henry gets out and lifts the hood. He gasps. The engine is destroyed; crushed. He closes the hood and tells Jack to get out of the car. Not wanting to scare him, he tells him that the engine is broken.
    They go into the Main Cabin and find Robert. Henry tells Jack to wait in the hall as him and Robert go into the office and close the door. Henry tells Robert about the engine and Robert offers to give them a ride to the nearest town where they can stay at a hotel until a tow truck can come out and get the car.
    The three of them go to Robert’s car, but it too, won’t start. Henry and Robert check the engine and see the same as happened to his. Ronald and Andrea, two of the other people who work at the grounds, walk over and tell Robert that their car engines have been crushed.
    Henry suggests that they walk out of there, but Robert says that the nearest town is too far away. It’d take days to walk there. Henry says that they have to do something because he has a kid and doesn’t want him in danger. Robert says that they only have to wait until tomorrow because that is when then next rotation of staff members is supposed to arrive.
    Andrea asks why they can’t just call for help and Robert informs her that the phone lines have been down all morning. Henry agrees to stay one night, but if the next rotation doesn’t show up tomorrow, then he’s taking his son and walking.


    Chapter 4

    The group sits around a table inside of one of the cabins, playing Poker. Jack is sitting on a couch, playing with his Game boy. He turns the machine off and stands up, saying he has to use the bathroom. Henry offers to go with him, incase the killer shows up, but Jack says that he’ll be fine. The nearest Outhouse isn’t that far away.

    Jack steps outside and notices that the sky is cloudy and dreary and it’s slightly drizzling. The wind moves through the trees and bushes, shaking them slightly. One set of bushes shakes more then the rest and Jack stops. He hears a low growling noise and takes off in a run.
    As he runs, he hears something chasing him, but when he turns around, he doesn’t see anything, despite being able to hear it.
    He reaches the Outhouse and slams the door shut, locking it, just as something bangs into it hard, shaking the entire hut. Jack screamed as the thing kept slamming into the door, causing it to start to splinter open.
    The banging stops and Jack waits for a minute. Nothing happens. He slowly opens the door and sees nothing outside. He takes a few steps out of the Outhouse and hears something running through the woods, heading towards him. He takes off at a run and runs down the trail. He looks behind him and he sees a wolf chasing him, only he was able to see through the wolf.
    Jack screams as he runs. He looks back behind him, but the wolf-ghost is gone. The wind picks up even more, but only around Jack. He reaches the Main Cabin and runs inside, locking the door.
    Everyone else quickly stands up and asks him what happened and Jack explains about the Wolf-Ghost. Andrea and Robert look out the windows, but see nothing out of the ordinary.

    That night, everyone is asleep. Suddenly Jack is woken up by a scratching noise coming from the walls, as if thousands of mice are scratching against them, only nothing is visible. The scratching slowly gets louder and louder and everyone else wakes up.
    Ronald covers his ears, asking what is causing the noise. Robert and Henry look out all the windows, but see nothing outside. Jack yells that it’s a ghost or ghosts. It’s the only thing that can explain everything that’s been happening. Henry tells him to be sensible and Jack yells back at his father, saying that it’s the only thing that makes sense. The windows start shattering one by one, spraying glass all over the inside of the cabin as the scratching intensifies.
    Andrea can’t stand the noise and throws open the door, running out into the night. The others quickly follow. Henry asks where they’re going and Robert suggests the Gym. It’s easy to blockade themselves in there plus that is where they store the hunting guns. Jack says that guns are useless against ghosts and his father tells him to shut up about the ghosts.


    Chapter 5

    They reach the Gym and run inside, locking the door and then chaining the long sideways handle. Robert flicks the lights on. They go to the Guns room and take some guns and then head up the stairs to the second floor, to the lounge room, and talk about the camp grounds and any history it has with Ghosts. Robert reveals that there have been reports once in awhile in the past of people in the woods and weird noises and occurrences, but nothing of violent nature until now.
    Robert’s about to reveal the history of the land, when he is interrupted by a loud banging noise, almost as if something big and heavy is stomping on the roof. They star at the roof and the ceiling changes and forms a giant hand, which swipes at the people.
    The people dodge and the hand goes back up and forms the ceiling again. Ronald runs out of the room and the others shout for him to come back. Ronald runs down the stairs and across the main floor. He unchains the door and unlocks it. He goes to push it open, but a greater force pushes the swinging door towards Ronald, causing him to fly back across the gym floor.
    The others start to run down the stairs to him, but the stairs detach from the floor and go up straight up and down, blocking their path.
    On the main floor, Ronald stands up and a female appears, see-through, in front of him. Ronald asks what it wants and it replies with ‘I want your flesh!’ and then opened it’s mouth wider then is humanly possible, revealing sharp teeth, and latterly bites Ronald’s head off. The mouth closes and the ghost turns and looks at the other people, who are looking over the ledge on the second floor.
    The ghost disappeared and seconds alter appeared next to them on the second floor. It starts to open it’s mouth wide. Henry raises his gun and fires at it. The bullet goes right through the ghost, however it does stop and closes its mouth and disappears.
    Andrea suggests that they leave the Gym and the others quickly agree. They return to the stairs, which are now normal again, and go down to the first floor and rush past Ronald’s decapitated body, and run outside.
    Henry says that he’s not waiting all the way till morning to leave and that he’s getting his son out of there now. Robert and Andrea agree to go with them and they rush out to the main dirt road, however it is replaced by an extremely thick forest, the trail gone.
    Jack states that there’s no way they can find their way through that and Robert suggests they head to the Main Cabin until they can think of another way.


    Chapter 6

    Inside the Main Cabin, Henry, Andrea, and Robert are sitting down and Henry tells Jack to go to the bed room on the second floor and get some sleep. Jack leaves as the other three begin discussing their situation.
    Jack goes up to the second floor, and at the top of the stairs is a door. He opens it and walks into the upstairs hallway. He walks down the hall until he reaches the bedroom and walks in.
    Jack gasps as he sees that the room is filled with dead, mutilated bodies. At the sound of his gasp, they all turn their heads to look at him and begin to stand up and move towards him. Jack closes the door and runs down the hall.
    He turns back to look and sees the bodies walking right through the door and wall, heading straight for him. Jack turns back around, but just as he reaches the door leading downstairs, the door shuts closed on its own. Jack tries to open it, but to no avail.
    He looks back and sees the ghosts getting closer. He tries ramming the door, but it doesn’t even budge. He hears someone tell him that it’s no use and whips around. All the ghosts are gone except one. Cindy is standing behind him, only she’s slightly see-through. Jack jumps and screams.
    Cindy assures him that she’s not there to hurt him. Not all of them are bad ghosts, only the ones controlled by Her. Jack asks who Her is and why all this is happening. Cindy says that her name is Selt Klein. She was a woman who lived a hundred years before and was not a nice woman. She caught her husband cheating on her and murdered him and the girl he was sleeping with. But she didn’t stop there. She proceeded to kill the families of both of them as well and she buried the bodies deep in the woods so no one would find them. She went back to her ordinary life, but soon after, for an unknown reason, she killed her own family. By that point she was had such a bloodlust, that she started stalking complete strangers and murdering them as well and she always buried the bodies in the same forest. Then about 30 years ago, a rich family bought the land and built the camp area. They mysteriously disappeared soon after completion and then Robert’s family bought the land and Robert’s father passed it onto him when he died of natural causes. The ghosts of the murdered people didn’t mind there being a camp ground, which is why they never did anything harmful before. They were able to cope with visitors. But then Selt Klein’s spirit showed up, no one knows from where, but it showed up and was such a powerful spirit that it took control of all the other spirits and started killing people again. However, it is very hard for her to hold onto all the spirits all the time and so sometimes, such as now, a spirit or two can break free of her control. Jack asks Cindy how to stop Selt Klein, but before Cindy can answer, the wall forms into a giant head and it swallows Cindy whole and then turns and roars at Jack.
    Jack stumbles back and the door opens. He turns and runs down the stairs as the wall goes back to normal.
    The others rush towards him and he franticly tells them of the events that just happened. Robert suggests that they use the boats to leave. They’ll only get to the other side of the lake, but with any luck, Selt Klein has no control over there and they’ll be able to reach the road.
    They all agree on the plan and leave the building.


    Chapter 7

    As they are rushing down the trail passing by a few cabins, they hear a scream in the air and look around. Behind them, they see a ghost gliding quickly low to the ground, screaming. It looks like a skeleton with long hair.
    It reaches them and picks Robert up into the air as it flies higher. Robert screams as he’s picked off the ground. The ghost and Robert disappear into the blackness of night.
    Henry, Jack, and Andrea continue down the trail and go onto the trail that’ll bring them to the beach. Suddenly the trail turns into water and they splash down into it. Andrea urges them to swim, but every time they reach out to the side to climb out, right where they’re about to reach, also turns into water.
    They see the shape of someone wearing a Grim Reaper suit glide under the water. It then disappears as quickly as it appeared. Swimming on the spot, they start looking around. Andrea is yanked under the water. Under the water, the figure used its other hand to rip deep gashes in Andrea’s chest, killing her. It lets go of the body and disappears.
    Henry yells at Jack to swim and the two start swimming in the direction of the beach. The water in front of them starts forming into a shape and goes up into the air to form a giant version of the Grim Reaper shape. The water-arm swipes at the duo, but they duck under the water and the arm misses. The shape’s hood changes and forms into a female’s head. The figure has a pissed off look on its face.
    The shape unforms and the water splashes down to the ground. Henry and Jack surface and continue to swim. Before they know it, they are on land and stand up. They look back, seeing the trail behind them and not a drop of water other then on them.
    They take off running and reach the beach. There are a few boats resting in the water and Henry smiles. Suddenly all the boats start moving by themselves, leaving the camp. The engine on one of the motorboats starts up and the boat lifts up into the air.
    It turns to face Henry and Jack. The boat flies through the air and Henry and Jack duck to avoid getting hit by it. The boat turns and heads towards them again. Henry pushes his son out of the way and ducks as the boat misses again.
    Henry unslings the gun as the boat heads for him again and he fires, puncturing it with holes. He dodges to the side as the boat just narrowly misses him. He rolls over and aims at the engine before it can turn around. He fired and the boat exploded in a fireball, crashing to the sandy beach.
    Henry stands up and drops the gun, rushing over to Jack and helping him stand, making sure he’s alright. Jack’s eyes go wide and Henry turns to see what has his son so spooked.
    Standing on the beach is dozens upon dozens of ghosts, all looking at Henry and Jack. The ghost in front of all the others steps towards the duo. It thanks Henry for freeing them. The only way to destroy a Spirit is to destroy an object at the time the spirit is possessing it. Because of what Henry did, now all the spirits are free.
    It then goes on to explain that Humans are no longer welcome on the land. They wish to rest in peace, but if any human steps foot on the land again, they will be disturbed and will do whatever it takes to get the humans off the land. Some of the ghosts are still loyal to Selt Klein and will not hesitate to kill.
    Henry says that he doesn’t know if anyone will listen, but he will try and warn people. The ghost thanks him. Just as the first rays of sunlight touch the beach, all the ghosts start disappearing.
    Henry and Jack make their way back up the trail and to the Main Cabin. Two vans pull up to the parking lot and the next shift of people climb out. Henry, with his arm around Jack, raises his free arm and waves to the people as him and Jack make their way towards them.

    The End

    ***

    I'll have the treatment for Invisible Killer 2 up soon, along with what Invisible Killer 3 was supposed to be about before I decided not to write it.

    5/14/2005 1:40:15 AM

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